The Journey To Insanity
by The Evil Obvious
Summary: This is a crack version of The Lord Of The Rings, starting at the council of Elrond. There will be breakdancing, there will be insanity and there with be fun for the family! rated T for mild language. don't forget your reviews, thank you and good night!
1. The Council of Stupidity

**Yeah i know, this has been done a billion times, but great minds think alike and even greater minds think outside the box. In my case there is no metaphorical box to think out side of. disclaimer and this goes for the whole story if there is ever any more chapters, i don't own LOTR and definately never will.  
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The council of Elrond was a very boring and sleepy place to be. That was until Boromir arrived.

Boromir was wandering aimlessly along threw some random wood when he came across a river. The river was not very deep and he desided to cross it. He was just about half way when he heard a mighty roar. He turned his head to see what was making the rucous and noticed a surprisingly large wave that looked like a group of white horses and riders.

"HOLY SHI-"

but unfortunately he was cut off there, at the most convienient time, as the water swept him away.

A few days later Elrond was starting the council. He started by introducing everyone

"Here there are all very important people that, quite frankly, I could not give a rats arse about, but I have been told that some evil ring is going to destroy the world so I should probably introduce these idiots who we are going to trust the lives of every living being that is good on this earth. Now on with the plot."

Elrond had just finished introducing everyone present and was about to go on an endless rant about the ring when a sopping wet and very very annoyed Boromir stepped in.

"I OBJECT!" he proceeded screamed at the top of his lungs.

Everyone exchanged confused looks. "You object to what?" asked Aragorn, who was about to start reading Good Omens before he was so rudely intrupted.

Boromir looked around, "this isn't the wedding is it?" he asked.

"um...no" replied Aragorn.

"Oh..my bad...sooooooo...what'cha doin'?"

"Having a very grave and serious council about a stupid ring." Elrond said looking very displeased at not being able to drone on about the rings history.

"Oh! I just remembered why I came here!!" he said, striking a pose dramatically for no particular reason.

"Just remembered?..." Aragorn falofled (okay so that's not a word but who cares, I was bored of writing the same words...I need a larger vocabulary in this pea sized brain of mine.)

"YA! Sorry I got sort of side track, I was thrown off a waterfall by a giant enormous wave of galoping horses, luckily I landed on some cushy thing that I couldn't see and survived. Not with out a bump on the head though." he wiped some blood out of his eye.

Everyone just stared at him unblinking until their eye's began to water.

"So what is your purpose of being here...or something stupid like that..." Elrond um...asked while rubbing his tummy and patting his head.

"I have come to object to destroy that all powerful ring because it is a gift...and I want it because it's all shiny and pretty and stuff. Oh and I think my father has gone insane because just before I left I saw him hoping across a field of flowers singing joyously of killing my brother."

"Okay, well you can't have the ring, and I'm going to bed, goodnight" with that Elrond vanished into thin air muttering something about black ponies and their hooves being the same colour as their body.

Boromir coughed "well this has been rather dull, lets lighten the mood and get skedaddling to Mordor," and with that Boromir went break dancing off into the distance. The members of the Fellowship all looked unsure about this plan, it seemed that Boromir might have received a bit of brain damage with that fall.

"I vote we follow him and see him he manages to fall of any cliffs," voted Aragorn.

"I just want to get rid of this cumbersome burden!" Frodo said in a whiney and angsty tone.

"I want to see the mountains and all their prettiness," Gimli shouted but not really because why would he shout?

"I think I'm wise and I will save you all from certain death," Gandalf said without opening his mouth just to show off.

"I'm young and reckless so I'm coming!" Pippin pipped.

"I'm older than Pippin and smarter so I'll come and make sure he doesn't eat something poisonous!" said Merry

"I like Bill," said Sam.

"Hobbits are short," said Legolas, once again managing to point out the obvious at the most random time.

And with that they followed Boromir, Aragorn taking bets as to when, where and how Boromir would die.

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**I'm amazing i know, so tell me what you think. Should it end there never to be finished? or will the story go on!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *evil laughter* only reviews can tell...or is it time?  
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	2. LIEK OMG HIDE!

**Well, since i got so many reviews *cough hack cough* i decided to continue with the story, hopefully i will get more reviews as the story goes on but it is not expected. *sigh* all comments welcome. If you hate it tell me, if you like it please please please please tell me. This chapter is for my only reviewer GothicPippin, thank you!**

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The fellowship were walking up some rocks in a very dramatic slow-motion type way.

"Heeeeyyy ggguuuuyyyyyssss,,,,, iiiii ttttthhhhiiiinnnkkk wwwweeerrreeee wwwwaaaaalllkkkiiinnggg iiiiiiiinnnnnn sssssssllllllloooooowwwww-mmmmmooooo" said Legolas.

"Nnnnnnooooo,,,,, rrrrreeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy????" Aragorn glared at him long and hard.

Suddenly everything went back to normal. Frodo looked emo-ly around "were the hell are we?" he asked the question everyone else was thinking.

"We, Frodo my dear, are quite obviously standing on a rocky ledge," Gandalf answered.

Sam beat Gandalf over the head with his frying pan.

Gimli jumped up from were he had been sitting, "HOLY MOO COW PATTIES! LOOK AT THAT CLOUD OF OMINOUS LOOKING BIRDS FLYING RIGHT FOR OUR HEADS!"

Every one stared hard at the strange amount of crows heading straight for them, "look! Evil crow things!" Legolas pointed out.

Boromir, who was busy dragging Gandalf's unconscious form into a bush decided that now would be a great time to tackle Frodo and try and throw him innocently off a cliff. Unfortunately he was thrust into a bush on top of Gandalf by Aragorn who was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

"HIDE! OMG LEIK HIDE LEIK ZOMG!! ROFL!" Aragorn threw himself down under the shelter of a rock.

Everyone was so busy trying to understand what Aragorn had just said, they didn't notice when the crows started to eat their eyeballs.

When the crows had flown off the only people who were not lying bloody and unconscious on the ground were Aragorn, Boromir and not-so-surprisingly Legolas.

Boromir stood up and dusted himself off, "well that was so bloody stupid I might just sing." So he sang a great and beautiful song that had been sung many times in Gondor, "rising up, back on the street. Did my time, took my chances. Went the distance now I'm back on my feet, just a man and his will to surviiive!"

Legolas looked around, "what just happened?" he asked. Aragorn wacked him over the head, "we were just attacked by the evil crow things you dumb ass!"

Legolas pouted and rubbed the back of his head.

It was some time later when the other members of the fellowship decided to wake up, though wether it was their decision or just the fact that Aragorn thought it would be helpful to kick them hard in the stomach, no one will ever know.

"THAT HURT!" Merry proclaimed rather loudly, he looked over to where Pippin should have been but found that his cousin was MIA.

MEANWHILE!!#

Pippin was skipping along the rocks when he found Legolas's bow lying on the ground. (you know what's going to happen ;D) "hey I've never actually used a bow before!" he thought to himself thoughtfully.

He took an arrow out of his back pocket and notched it into the bow, then he pulled back and let go!

The arrow went flying in slow-motion, but since Pippin had never used a bow before, it didn't go very far. It hit a rock and broke in two, one of the peace went flying off into a random direction and wacked Legolas in the eye.

"HOLY (stream of terribly bad words that should not be seen by children's eyes)" Legolas ran in circles screaming.

Sam nudged Frodo, "is that some sort of elvish Mr. Frodo?"

"Sam, I do believe you live under a rock," Frodo replied with a sigh.

With all the noise and shouting Gandalf found it hard to fake being knocked out any longer.

"TO THE MOUNTAINS" he shouted, causing most of the fellowship to fall over out of shock.

Once they had regained some composure they went stumbling confusedly towards the great mountain Caradhras.(seriously the hardest word in the world to pronounce, other than specific.)

Frodo was pondering how exactly he might kill himself on a mountain when he tripped over some invisible rock...or something.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" he screamed while rolling into a giant snowball in true cartoon style. He accidently rolled over Aragorn, Sam and Bill. They all went rolling to the bottom of the not-so-steep hill they were climbing.

"Frodo you idiot!" Aragorn screamed, pushing the two Hobbits, a pony and a random yellow bear wearing a red t-shirt off of himself. He started to trudge back up the hill, while the bear pulled a balloon out of nowhere and floated away. The Hobbits looked at each other for a second then quickly followed Aragorn.

While The rest of the fellowship had watched this rather funny ordeal unfold, Boromir noticed something gold and shiny, "ooooooooooooooo SHINY!" he picked it up, and was disappointed to find it was not a quarter like he had hoped despite the fact that quarters are silver. He then realized it was a ring, it shone brilliantly in the sun.

"A ring? On a chain? This is odd indeed!" he said out loud randomly.

"Give the goddamned ring back to Frodo and jump of a cliff!" Aragorn said, storming up the mountain. Apparently he didn't take kindly to being rolled into a giant ball of snow.

"I think I should roll myself into a pecan pie and be eaten disgustingly by my father," Boromir said even more randomly. Frodo kicked him in the shin and stole the ring back.

They headed once again up the mountain. They had just reached the tricky bits when it started to snow like cats rolling in catnip. (A lot of rolling in this chapter....and randomness.) Everyone was knee deep in snow and the Hobbits had to be carried. Legolas was skipping merrily on top of the snow while rainbows and kittens surrounded him.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Boromir shouted over the wind. Legolas promptly ignored him. Boromir growled under his breath, "stupid freakin' emo Hobbits, stupid freakin' special ring of power, oh screw it! Why the hell should I have to carry this sniveling idiot when Mr. I-can-walk-on-snow gets to prance around like there's nothing wrong!?"

Frodo glared at him, "I can hear you!" With that Boromir chucked Frodo at Legolas who stumbled in a very non-elfish way and they both went tumbling over the cliff. Sam jumped after them.

"YES!!" Boromir shouted doing some more awesomely amazing break dancing moves. Every one glared at him, "great! Now we have to go all the way back down the mountain and find that stupid ring!" Aragorn shouted angrily. Boromir promptly ignored him, and was shoved off the cliff by Aragorn who was in a very bad mood as established before.

When the Frodo woke up he found that he was not quite dead but had landed on Legolas, who had landed on his feet and had fallen unconscious standing up. He looked over and saw Boromir lying on a very squashed Sam.

He waved a hand in front of the elf's eyes, "Legolas?" the elf remained unconscious. He punched him in the face...the elf remained unconscious. Then a brilliant idea came to his head, "Legolas your hair is a mess!"

The elf jumped to life sending the poor Hobbit flying, "WHAT!?!? I NEED A MIRROR!" and he pulled a mirror out of his non-existent back pocket and started to examine himself.

"OOF!" Boromir awoke as a Hobbit landed on his back, "I can't smell breakfast so screw off!" he shouted. Frodo got off of him quickly, giving him some very nervous glances. It was then that Boromir realized he was lying in a rather...odd position on top of a rather large Hobbit.

He got up quickly and coughed, "well....umm....soo....Ah! Frodo," he said as if just noticing the Hobbit now, " would you like to play a game of bingo?" he asked.

Frodo shrugged, "I guess, but I get to be the shoe." So they both sat down and played a rather odd version of bingo.

Meanwhile on the mountain,

"#$%*%&(#$&&*)$&)$*%&$%(&*)^*$%&%^*&)%^I'LL KILL ALL YOU$^$%&$^ HOBBITS AND YOU *()%#&%^( ELVES AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU ##^*^%^*$%&$%^*%&*$%*%&*$^*%^*#$^*^%$ BOROMIR!!!" Aragorn shouted, the rest of the group were keeping their distance. Merry and Pippin gave each other nervous glances and tried to struggle out of his grip.

"Oh no you don't! You're my hostages!! Plus you owe me money. I told you Boromir would die by falling off a cliff!" he said with a sly smile and strode down the mountain through the blinding blizzard.

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**Tell me if you liked it, if it was to random, not random enough or just plain stupid. PLEASE REVIEW!! I'LL PAY YOU WITH......CARROTS OR SOMETHING! all i need is one review to keep the story going, or to delete it completely, so if want it to stay say so, if you want it to got say so.  
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